deathhhhh ;

yahhh thatss my mommy christinah yemisi sadiku up there ;
so i havee exprienced death in the worse way ;
obviously i havent died yet so i guess its not the worse wayyy ;
but my mommy died on june 9 2002 from breast cancer ;
i used to wonder why God did this to me && my family ;
but i realized that he just wanted to see one of his angels ;
just waiting to that day to reunite with her again . . .

most people dont know that my eldest blood sistuh died ;
when she was a few daysss old ;
all i knew that my parents named her joy && that she would be around 26 yrs old if she was still alive ;

dudeee im not actually scared of death ;
im just scared of dyinggg ;
makess sense ?
well i'll explain for people like peace lol . . .
im not scared of death because i know im going to heaven ;
&& they say heaven is paradise && its nothing compared to anything on earth ;
soo why should i be scared of that ?
but i am scared of dyingg ;
because i HATE painn && i dont wanna die in slowly death ;
but heyyy i cant control the way i die because thats up to God ;
but i can control what happens after life on earth ;
by living my life the right way ;
&& people wonder why im such a "goodie good gurllllllllll" ;

i dont wanna leave this world without impacting someone's life in a good way ;
i wanna die && people grieve about meh not because i died but because they miss how much of a difference i made on them ;
im sure thats how everybody is ;
but sometimes i wonder if if died now would people say r.i.p joyce all over there myspace's && facebook for 3 months && take it off or leave it on their page for ever && always remember meh . . .
hmmmm i just wonder . . .

well im just living my lifee the good way so i can live after death ;