one by one . . .

i feel like people just keep leaving my side ;

i use to have that mentality " eff you ! i can find someone to replace you " ;

i still have it but maybe thats why i feel like im loosing the close people around me ;

maybe its because i act like i dont care bout people ;

but i really do ;

i just dont show it . . .

the expression i usually show really is anger ;

dont really like expressing how i feel ;

yeaaa i know thats a problem ;

& i know i should practice what i preach ;

because i usually say its bettuh to talk things through ;

but i always have a feeling people dont like listening to what i say ;

which explains why i keep my deep feelings within ;

until someone asks which most people dont . . .

i usually only say speak up when something is wrong with my friendships when its too late ;

& when i say its too late i mean when we're already drifting & more than likely whatever i say is not going to fix anything ;

but shouldnt the other person care enough to say something ?

throughout all the type of friends i have ;

i've always changed my bestfriend ;

i know moving alot has a factor in it ;

but ive been living in texas for about 7 years ;

& i have already changed my besfriend like 4 or 5 timess ;

hmmm but one time i heard on the christian chanel :

" not to hold on to people & some people are just for a season " !

so i know there's a reason why im always switching out close people to meh ;

but sumtimes i wonder is it my fault ? or is it theres ? or maybe its both ?

i need HELP !

i tried the whole "one deep" thing . . .

& i realized you cant live in this big evil world without people to help you through yur life ;

no matter what people say friends DO have a big impact on your life ;

so just know if you want to get the best out of life life you need good people to help you ;

cause the bad people would just make it harder for you ;

or maybe its because i pick the wrong friends ;

& later realize i shouldnt have been their friend . . .

because they're a bad fluenence ;

i dont wanuuh surround myself with people that dont wannuh get the same thing in life as i do ;

i mean like i dont want friends who waste their life doing "useless" thingss !

but anyways . . .

next year im not going to have much people to talk to at skool ;

because i mainly hang out with seniors at skool this past skool year ;

but no biggie ;

cause i am frienly & like meeting new people ;

i do want new friends but not to replace the ones i have ;

just to surround myself with new things & people ;

im going to hang unto all the friends i have at the momentreal tight until i feel its time for meh to let go . . .

is it yur time for meh to let go ?

&retrobarbie♥ ;

& stay tune until the next entry . . .